WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
