worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
