I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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