your thong is hanging out like whoa
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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