Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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