I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
