Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
