i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
