i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
