I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize