Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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