is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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