I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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