Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
