Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Walk of Shame today included voting.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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