He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
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i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
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for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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