Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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