You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Mom said you looked used
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have tasted many bathrooms
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
