sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
