dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
