What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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