There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
