They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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