I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
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shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
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Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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