I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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