Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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