Got a toothbrush?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
