i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
