What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
