are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
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He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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