I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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