i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So many bounce houses so little time
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
