imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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