***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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