You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
