I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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