remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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