you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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