I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
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i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
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Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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