In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
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you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
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I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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