Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
