i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize