Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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