Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
