It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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