So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
they need to just BURY HIM!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
