so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
