oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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