Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
