im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Say something about gay babies.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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