Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
