I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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