Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.