how can u be prego again
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.