i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF