Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
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i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
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I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.