It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
