I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
