I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
