my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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