I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
